I cook things!
I made sweet potato soup today, all by myself. Well, I had parental supervision. I have no idea what "translucent onions" look like, so I kept having to bug my mom about it. BUT STILL. It tasted good and I didn't cut my hand open or set anything on fire, so I'm calling it a success.
It's strange when your standards for success involve no bodily harm being inflicted on anyone.